There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
