thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
