I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
