But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
