Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
