Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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