If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
he thought i was a dude.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
