I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
