eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
