Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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