I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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