i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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