She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
