where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
