This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
