is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
