i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
