shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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