I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
