I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
