we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
