omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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