We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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