Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
