You really coming over, don't trick.
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
