And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
