For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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