I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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