sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
