im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
