Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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