That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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