what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
