Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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