i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
