I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
