dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
