3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
