She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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