That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
