it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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