New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
