U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
MIDGETS
????
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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