i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
