i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
