She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
