I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
