Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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