Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
