How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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