also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
