nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
