Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
