i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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