i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
