nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
