Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
wow bdsm is so cute
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I'm bleeding and have questions
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
