I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
